I woke up and started scrolling. I started looking at my Apple watch: first, messages then email. Was there a text or anything on Messenger? A complaint email and a note to send more information, which I mull over as I brew a Nespresso. Coffee in hand, I plop down to write—but first—grab my phone. A new follower on Twitter: an ukulele player and Star Wars fan. Nothing new on LinkedIn from last night’s post. Another glance at email and Messenger to make sure that between 5:01 a.m. and 5:08 a.m. no new messages came in. Just in case, I check Facebook on the internet. I’m happy I deleted the app on my phone and have lost all the functionality and can only scroll before glitches occur.
It’s 5:15 a.m. and I can see that my friend Jen is also on Facebook.
“Why isn’t she out running?” I think. Shit! A pang of guilt hits me and I flick closed Facebook.
“Why aren’t I out running and instead of checking Facebook?” I counter.
I’ve been up for 15 minutes and only a small bit of that time has been on Facebook, which feels like a win. Imagine if I hadn’t deleted Instagram!
What am I hoping to see when I do all this checking and scrolling? Who am I hoping will send a message?
Back in the good ol’ days, prior to social media, I had to walk out to the mail box to receive a letter. If I had sent one, then for the next week I dashed out to the green post box and opened the lid to glance into that dark, empty tunnel. I had a pen-pal in Japan and wrote back and forth to her for 7 years. Eventually, we married. That joy and charm of hand written letters, the delay between the letters, built anticipation and strengthened patience and fortitude.
It’s nice that my brain receives a little drip of dopamine every time I receive a new mail ping or thumb’s up notice. I’m positive a psychologist would give me some deeper insights of how I want to be accepted as an only child, and that this is just an electronic pat on the head that I’ve desired from parents and teachers my whole life.
Of course, I’m not alone. According to Datareportal’s July 2022 global overview, over half of the world, 59%, use social media: that’s 4.70 BILLION people! And we are spending 2 hours and 29 minutes on average using social media. Imagine all the billions of dollars changing hands across the globe, news and fake news, propaganda, and entertainment quickly and freely flowing.
Like all executive recruiters, I find LinkedIn indispensable for my work. And as an author, the main way my publishers push to win readers is through online presence.
In addition, like so many others, I love connecting to friends from kindergarten and elementary school as well as participating in groups, such as reading groups and musicians. And we all love to showoff our food and our kids, but mainly food from what I can see on my feeds!
What’s all this add up to? An addict who justifies what he does on social media at 5:00 a.m.? I confess, I spend too much time thinking about social media, strategizing, and just hanging out in that space. I really love it. The creators of these digital worlds have me hooked like a common junkie, no needles or spoons needed here.
But what about just watching the sunset without phone in hand? Or having a dinner with my wife and not taking a picture of my bolognese and cabernet sauvignon? When I’m on my death bed, I’m sure the regret for actual off-screen time missed will hold greater weight than on-screen. Maybe I could Instagram Live on my deathbed my final breath, unless I die in an instant texting and driving. (Fun fact: 2020 NHTSA data reports 13% of distracted driving accidents result in fatalities. In 2020, that amounted to 396 people: over one death per day. Now back to our regularly scheduled program.)
I know some people have have built glorious relationships and communities online. I built a great reading group and appreciate the that social media allowed me that opportunity. However, I appreciate even more when the group meets off-line for dinner, sips a merlot (or several), and chats about how social media is destroying the fabric of our civilization, just like the inventions of television, radio, and the printing press.
Another minute; another scroll. Please, please give me a thumbs up.